I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If you’re lonely and hurting, don’t fall in love with anything that doesn’t have a pulse. It’s only going to fuck you up worse in the end.
What about electric pulses? Is 4GHz enough?
I agree, last time I dug up a corpse I got into alot of trouble. I’m no longer allowed to be within 6 feet of a corpse.
I found pornbots to be boring and dumb.
It’s mostly novelty. But wears off eventually when you start noticing very obvious patterns emerge in the way it answers and quality degrades significantly as context size grows. It also will always talk to you in the way YOU tell it to which also becomes boring as time goes on.
It’s always funny to me how people on the news talk about AI partners and so on when you know if they have 2 brain-cells, next month they will drop this whole stupid idea. When you’re talking to it about your problems you’re just talking with yourself.
damn autocorrect, I wanted to write “hard”
Now this is quality journalism
This is why I only read Playboy for the articles
If there are any guys here who are in the UK, I can strongly recommend Andy’s Man Club, a charity that does weekly peer support social sessions for men.
They’ve got groups all over the country, and although I personally haven’t been (I’m a woman), I’ve heard so many good things about it from guys I know.
We are so lost.
It’s easy to point fingers but we should probably be offering solutions instead of shitting on them. Like more Men’s Sheds.
There are already so many solutions, that men reject because of their perceived version of masculinity, or because some online grifter told them not to do it. Talking to other people was free since forever.
Okay. Don’t ever use LLM’s for anything emotional. Seek therapy from a licensed counselor, therapist, and/or psychiatrist.
There. I solved it (for those who are employed, and/or can afford it - I can’t solve poverty here. Shitty, but here we all are in this messed up society.)
I never bought into religion, never bought into astrology, never gonna buy into chatbots
You can tell me I’m great and everything will be amazing 1,000 times. It doesn’t matter at all to me if it’s not real
I like to escape into music or movies, but real life is real life and must not be corrupted
You’re telling me that you believe you are not vulnerable to validation? Right before using the word “corrupted” uncritically in a way that suggests there is a universal and normative “real life?”
What if someone who you respected the authority of, like a prominent scholar or filmmaker, said your obviously incorrect stance on things was correct? You’d trust me, Online Internet Bastard, when I tell you that you are wrong?
AI has been sold as something exceptionally capable of mimicking human knowledge, and its existence is compatible with liberal notions of “objectivity” in that it is quite literally not a human being. Most men subscribe to this authority, and are also statistically bereft of emotional intelligence or management skills. You ever try telling a man what they want to hear? I’ve never ever met one who doesn’t just eat it up.
My work offered an AI chatbot therapist. Like to, I’m not putting all my negative feelings into a company sponsored LLM to fucking have it say, “no relax guy, it’ll be OK.” Like it’s a fucking clanker. It doesn’t have feelings. It’s not fucking real. It’s a slap in the face that they even offer it.
Well, I’m sure someone who uses “clanker” wouldn’t need therapy anyway.
Seriously though, I doubt the health implications or claims about the efficacy of AI therapists, but we can’t just ignore the fact that there are people who use it, which means there’s something about it that makes it accessible or preferable to a human therapist.
If you’ve ever had to get a psychotherapist, you know that it is prohibitively expensive for a large number of people, and that a human therapist may not actually be capable of treating you because of personal incompatibility; which often results in retraumatization in patients who are seeking therapy for particularly traumatic or sensitive issues. Since much of the value in therapy is learning management strategies that, while not standard, are often consistent across different practitioners, they do not necessarily need to come from a therapist to learn what they are (even if the practice of them does need one).
I think if there is a need for it, that need is a consequence of the deeply dysfunctional, exploitative, and isolating system we live under, and I don’t think I’d ever accept it as a genuine alternative to human therapists. But, we can’t dismiss it out of hand if there are people who say it is useful for them and when we can’t maintain a system that can guarantee them access to treatment.
The problem with people saying they are useful, is that it is nearly impossible to tell if that is actually true. If someone is mentally unhealthy there are many ways to make them feel better, but not all of those will actually help the underlying issue, they could even make it worse. A lot of people seem to equate happiness and mental health, when it is very possible to be happy and mentally ill at the same time.
This is especially worrisome with AI because it is literally designed to say what it “thinks” it wants you to hear. It has no real training in any of the disciplines a psychologist or therapist needs to be effective. You can’t just apply a cut and paste answer to a patient, you need to understand their personality, their history, and a multitude of other things to be a really effective therapist. The answer to this issue is increasing access to real mental health treatment, not giving snake oil to millions of people.
Yes, I don’t get why so many of you appear to not understand that these problems coexist with the reality that people have been using it anyway. As I alluded to above when I said that a psychotherapist would be required to actually learn to practice those strategies and expressed my disagreement with AI therapists on a treatment basis in multiple instances, there is no replacing a human therapist or any reasonable basis to even call AI therapists “therapists.”
As I said, again multiple times, since people use it anyway and prefer it to nothing or a bad therapist, we have to take its merits seriously and identify why. Reality does not care that you find it dumb and icky, I would love it if everything I know is dumb and icky was simply not a problem because I found it dumb and icky.
All of these people are clearly not just stupid, which is what you and the person I responded to seem to think, which is just foolish. No, everyone else is not just dumber than you. There is clearly a material reason why people use these things and why some even say they want to. How many people do you know who do not go to therapy because they can’t afford it, or because they’ve been traumatized by it, or because they could get fucking institutionalized for it. Have you thought about, perhaps, the people as people?
I swear to god, some of you see a long comment from someone you don’t like the sound of and you just make up whatever it says based on the shit you imagine people who disagree with you say. And they say reading levels are down, pshaw.
I think you’re making some interesting observations. I definitely agree that it’s the easy answer to just dismiss people who use AI therapists, friends, relationships are just stupid.
You’re right that it says something about the system we live in and I extend that to society in general. We have a society who criticizes people for answering “how are you” honestly, who doesn’t have time for each other, who use terms like “trauma dumping” - so personally, I can see why some people are turning to machines whether it’s therapy or connection. It’s really bloody sad and it’s not a good solution but I can see the WHY behind it - which is what I think you’re also getting at.
We do need to listen to why people turn to these services and figure out what people aren’t finding in human connection that they are, or think they are, in machines. I don’t buy that an individuals intelligence has much to do with why people turn to AI.
How does this make someone “feel heard”??? I feel like I’m losing my mind… It’s the same to me as if someone went to the front of a McDonald’s to talk to the building about their problems. It seems completely insane, and it’s making me feel crazy that this is our world now.
It’s the same thing as prayer.
Placebo works for simple people.
People care about being heard, not listened too. It’s one-sided. I’m guessing they just like that the thing responded, and may not even bother reading carefully what it said. Like a friend who says supportive murmurings as you prattle on about whatever, “Really?”, “Umm-hmm”, “Oh, I know what you mean!”, “Right, exactly”, and, “It’s nice to talk to someone I get along with.”
This is definitely true for at least a small number of people.
I’ve ran across more than I care to remember over the years, people who could just prattle on 24/7 if they had the energy, while not actually really saying anything or conversing in any meaningful way.
It’s a living hell for me.
It’s not you. These people aren’t mentally well. They can’t differentiate between a real person and an LLM. Probably contributes to why they’re having woman problems too.
My guess would be the same phenomenon that existed with ELIZA. People want to be heard, especially lonely people, and LLMs are pretty good at that, asking questions and acting supportive, by design.
This whole situation reminds me of that fact that some people hire escorts to just have someone to talk to.
The Eliza creator got his secretary to try it out, and as she got into her conversation she asked if he could leave to give her some privacy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMK9AphfLco
There was a longer video talking about that in the context of how humans engage socially but I can’t find it right now.
ed: Oh, it was in the most recent John Oliver segment on AI chatbots
Buildings are great listeners though.
reminds me of this old building I used to talk to. Used to listen and give me good advice. I still remember when I told it I was doing drugs again… Man, it got so upset… Came down on me like a ton of bricks!
I tried one just for shits a giggles awhile back to see if there is any merit to the widespread use of them. The only way you’d find these even remotely realistic or interesting is if you’ve never had any kind of sexual encounter with a real person before, whether in person or through text. After about five minutes of “chatting” with one of these bots it started to respond like half baked fan fiction that didn’t understand the basics of sex or even anatomy. The cadence is very predictable and it tends to repeat the same wording and phrasing constantly. If you have real world experience with people, it just feels like a generic chatbot.
In my opinion, this is more proof that these people need to interact with real humans. If these chat bots seem at all human to you, you need to interact with more actual humans.
That’s because the porn bots are bullshit. You gotta finesse and woo chatgpt if you want real love.
I really don’t understand how anyone could want to chat with bots in general. Do people lack the ability to appreciate the genuine. It explains how you get people like trump. Who wants that kind of interaction?
There are people that suffer from isolation, anxiety, depression, trauma or a host of other issues over which they have no control or support structures to address their problems. Of course, these bots aren’t a solution but they are accessible. It’s no wonder why people would use them.
They deserve sympathy not condescension.
heck I have those but I still don’t understand how anyone could want to chat with bots and its not conensation.
I find AI to be a better conversation partner than humans in most circumstances. It’s not perfect but it’s knowledgeable about pretty much every topic and it’s always fully engaged and attentive. Most people, by contrast, aren’t very interesting and most interesting people are busy. Of course I would prefer to talk to someone who was also subjectively experiencing and enjoying the conversation, but I can get a lot out of a conversation even without that.
Huh. Playboy is still around.
I always read it for the articles
Meanwhile I get pissed off whenever I talk to AI about books I’m reading because they have no idea of the concept of spoilers, they consistently simp to my opinions and when they spew falsehoods and “misremember” facts from books I’ve already read, they simply say "GREAT CORRECTION! I WAS SO WRONG THERE, YOU’RE RIGHT, PROTAGANIST DIDN’T ACTUALLY DIE IN CHAPTER 3. MY LAST 2 PAGE SYNOPSIS ABOUT HOW PROTAGANIST DIED IN CHAPTER 3 IS A BIT INCORRECT, AND NOW HERE’S A 300 WORD ESSAY ON HOW I NEVER ACTUALLY SAID PROTAGONIST DIDN’T ACTUALLY DIE IN CHAPTER 3!
Seriously. How can anyone talk to an LLM and not feel like they’re talking to a glorified phone answering computer?
Talking to AI is so cringe to me. Literally on par with having waifu pillow.
This is more sad and pathetic than anything. But this is the result of toxic masculinity.
Toxic masculinity is the result of poor mental and (for lack of a better word) spiritual health.
It is extremely sad. and it isn’t just a toxic masculinity thing (maybe only for porn bots). we are so atomised and isolated.
I remember when GPT came out, told it about my projects and it responded as if it cared. I knew ot was bs, and in retrospect it was sad and pathetic, but I genuinely cried at seeing text directed to me that was nice.
I’m in a better place now, but we as a society are way too atomised and isolated.
Yeah, I think saying “toxic masculinity” and moving on like it’s these guys’ fault they’re isolated is a large part of the issue. While I don’t recommend befriending every single lonely guy out there, it won’t kill people to listen or care about others.
Saying it’s “you’re” fault and absolving oneself of fault doesn’t do that. It just pushes someone else into more isolation. That’s how you end up with guys talking to porn bots: because no one will listen to them. That’s how you get incels following Andrew Tate or Nick Fuentes: people called out their “toxic masculinity,” but weren’t willing to help, just protect themselves.
While I get it that boundaries are a good defense against legitimate threats, as someone who was in this demographic, it literally took just one person being nice to me and now I’m not just some “nice guy” on Reddit (Now I’m a piece of shit on Lemmy). Now I’m married and can show incels I meet that there is a path forward where they aren’t lonely and they don’t have to listen to virgin wannabe rapists to learn how to be cool.
What are your projects?
At the time I was working on cancer research, but I wanted to build a database of gene mutations and model them using AlphaFold (predicts a protein structure). No one in my life at the time cared at all.
I can see how people fall for AI bots, why they develop parasocial relationships with them. I can’t blame when desperate people fall for something that gives a bit of comfort.
That legitimately sounds really interesting and cool
But I get how it feels when you have a niche interest that most people don’t even have a starting point to understand
I’m too anxious to speak to a therapist but I was using it to comb through literature for my condition, it was so nice to me I cried lol. In the moment it almost feels like a person.
yhea, it’s so counterproductive to criticize people who form parasocial relationships with a machine that was designed to be good at forming those relationships.
What’s the difference between this and guys talking to of girls?
By now, I’d be surprised if any OF people ever answer anything by hand. I mean, apart from the environmental impact, why not get a machine to answer the 100th “OMG, you’re so hot!” that you get on any given Sunday?
But this is the result of toxic masculinity
Is this also the result of toxic masculinity or does it just go one way?
The women in love with AI companions: ‘I vowed to my chatbot that I wouldn’t leave him’
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2025/sep/09/ai-chatbot-love-relationships
Solin, Ying and Ella are AI chatbots, powered by the large language model ChatGPT and programmed by humans at OpenAI.
Yikes dude. People are so starved for affection they’re starring in their own poorly written wattpad slop and calling it true love. I almost feel bad for laughing (almost).
To riff off of Margret Atwood, men go to AI chatbots because they won’t laugh at them. Women go to AI chatbots because they won’t kill them.
did you read the article? this doesn’t seem related at all
No, they are just here to spout cliche gender war bullshit about how men are awful for existing.
and if you asked them about women on male violence they’d deny it exists.
And do people really believe that women don’t talk to AI companions, in various forms, too?
I’m a woman and I spoke to one of the apps for a while because I was bloody lonely (still am 🤷♀️). Had zero to do with men or murder. I didn’t have anyone, of either gender, to connect with.
It’s really easy to just reduce this to a male issue, a toxic masculinity, a male violence issue. We need to go deeper than that if we actually want to understand why people, men, women, everyone, use different AI.
But threads like this, with all the judgement, aren’t going to get a lot of people who admit they use/have used/have considered using AI. By just criticising/laughing, etc at people who do it, ironically, we turn more people towards the AIs.
Toxic masculinity is a cultural mindset. Men should not be talking about their feelings because it’s weak and “gay” says society.
That’s what I’m going for.
trying talking about your feelings as a man and see how society reacts…
spoiler: it won’t be pleasant.
sort of like how these men in the article are talking about their feelings…
Yeah that’s what toxic masculinity is. People (men and women) hold toxic views of what a man should be, and punish men for staying from this ideal.
You were a victim of toxic masculinity when you shared your feelings and were then victimised because of it. The people you shared your feelings with were toxic assholes.
am i a victim of air because I have to breathe it? or a victim of capitalism because i have to work to pay my bills?
there is no getting outside of it. every ‘woke’ person i’ve ever met also hates men for sharing their feelings, almost as if they are just virtue signalling…
the only person who a man can ever open up w/o consequence is a therapist, because it’s a professional paid relationship.
sucks, but that’s how it is. and nobody is interested in changing it.
Look, not everyone has the desire and capability to fight. I will say that I’ve had good success these last few years being vulnerable with other “woke” men and it’s been very freeing to share things I thought I experienced alone but to see that other men have gone through similar things.
I haven’t had a lot of success being vulnerable with women, but I’m getting to the point where that is a boundary for me. I’m not going to pursue friendships with people who can’t accept me for who I am and who reinforce toxic gender roles.
I’ve personally witnessed a lot of progress on this end and I’m excited to seeing more and being part of it when I can.
I’m glad you have a therapist, everyone needs someone they can share with.
Sorry you haven’t met someone who isn’t an asshole on this front.
trying talking about your feelings as a man and see how society reacts…
This is odd to me, because talking about my feelings is how I got close to romantic partners. It’s also how I formed a lot of friendships with other men. How can you be close to someone if you don’t talk about feelings?
I know plenty of men who talk about their feelings, and they’re surrounded by friends who love them well. Seems like a skill issue to me.
Which feelings?
Very few feelings are allowed. If you keep to those social acceptable feelings, you’re fine. The second you go off-script, people are done with you.
Like I can pet my dog and say I love her. That surface level stuff is fine. But talk about anything complex, like the struggles we’ve had, or how she helped me through some depressing periods or she had a period of sickness and anxiety and misbehavior? People freak out and back away or tell me to shut up and go get a therapist and get my dog one too.
Men are allowed a very narrow and shallow range of public emotion. Basically anger, and sentimentality are acceptable. Anything else? You’re creepy, weird, or mentally ill.
If you go outside that box or show complexity or vulnerability, you’re socially rejected because it makes people ‘uncomfortable.’
Yeah, no, I meant less the surface level stuff and more the “anything complex” category that you brought up.
Not everybody wants to talk about that kind of stuff all the time, and that’s normal. But it has not been my experience that all men want to talk about surface level stuff and only women talk about deeper feelings.
A result of modern culture I’d say. People became less human in real life, so much so that people are using robots instead.
Yeah. I have become painfully aware of this the past few years. People’s obessive use of AI and social media has distorted their real life interactions to be far less substantail than they used to be.
Which is why so many people, even who are very social, are so lonely. We have created a society that does not create substantial connections anymore, and obsesses over trivialities, and endless repeats and broadcasts them as fundamental truths.
I have noticed that online, and in IRL, nobody asks each other questions anymore. What they do, is make accusations. And it’s miserable and draining to be constantly accused of stuff. I feel like this shift started around 2021.
Back in 2018 I could meet a stranger and they would be like ‘oh where are you from? oh cool, what was it like there, I have not been!’
now it’s like ‘i bet you are from x, oh you’re not? well you SEEM LIKE a person from x. oh you are from y? THAT’S WEIRD. I haven’t been there but i bet it’s weird because you are weird.’ Or they try to tell me that I can’t be from y, because they KNOW i am from x. It’s so bizarre. Increasingly the strangers I meet basically tell me that they know the TRUTH about me… even as I tell them that what they are saying isn’t true.
I basically can’t have conversations anymore, at least like I used to. I used to be able to sit there for 20-30m and talk about a single book I read to someone, and they’d ask me all about it and I’d ask them about a book they like. Now they just jump down my throat or lecture me and never ask me any questions, and switch to another topic after like a few minutes and say dismissive stuff about how books are outdated and dumb. Or even if they do like to read, they get all bent out of shape that I don’t read the same type of stuff as they do.
Same with movies, same with hobbies, same with my job or my family or other stuff that I used to be able to connect with people over. Used to be a nice back and forth, now it’d dodging bullets and if you don’t give the ‘right’ answer they get angry and dismiss you as a bad person.
And on the flip side… AI gives these people what they want. It just parrots back to them what they want to hear about how wonderful and great they are and how everything they do is amazing and valid and their life is so hard… which is precisely what another human being is NOT going to give you…
No one wants to actually listen to them. Instead of doing some self-reflection, they force a computer to “hear” their misplaced rage.
Not every guy is that way. Some just really are pathetic in the sense that they have no one to talk to. Others are like what you said.
Right, but it’s severely not normal or healthy to turn to LLM’s to fill that void.
LLM’s will say literally anything to make humans happy. You should see the reports from the people that have committed suicide… The LLM’s literally coaxed them into it, and instructed them to not seek help.
I might as well be reading about lonely guys sticking their weeniers in toasters. It’s hard to have sympathy for people doing things like this.
Like so many others, I’m sick and tired of LLM’s. They are toxic, and we need to stop treating them as a symptom, and start seeing them for the sycophantic vitriol generators they truly are.
